It doesn't seem to matter how much I do or how much I prepare but when I leave the house to run or see a friend even if he's napping safely at home with a babysitter or his Dad, there's always a twinge of guilt that I'm not there or I might be missing something important. I'm aware that it's completely irrational and ridiculous because everybody needs time away but it's still there and it's not going away any time soon.
I've been told that I'm not alone but that doesn't make me feel any better. I used to think it would go away as he got older and maybe it will but I'm not so sure... I feel like it might have even started when I was pregnant and I worried about everything I ate, how I slept, even how I sneezed and how it might have affected the baby.
Our latest mommy guilt related challenge has been leaving Griffin at child-minding when I go to CrossFit, it's silly because there really is no actual door separating us, he's literally around the corner the entire time I'm working out but we just can't see each other. Now that he knows where we are going when we go there he doesn't always want to go voluntarily especially when it's busy and this can result in a meltdown of tears and screaming. Usually he calms down within a minute of me rounding the corner but it still feels awful to walk out of room when your child is crying for you.
I don't think it's a bad thing that I feel that way, on the contrary I think it's just part of being a parent. I'd be kind of worried if it was easy to walk away from him screaming his face off but sometimes you just have to do it.
Parenting.com has a great list called 31 Reasons You Shouldn't feel Mom Guilt here are my top 5:
"
1. Accepting your son's compliment that you're a good cook when he's eating pre-breaded microwave chicken breasts. You did your part. You pressed "Start."
2. Tossing their artwork. After you've saved the truly superior thumb pots and the especially sentimental glitter collages, you will still have a heap of crafts the size of Mount Etna. Fill up a big black Hefty bag after they're asleep, pour yourself some wine, and then watch Hoarders. You'll feel better instantly.
3. Letting it slip that the tooth fairy was actually her daddy. You didn't destroy her childhood innocence. You let her in on a grown-up secret that she must never, ever tell her little brother, which makes her feel mature and important.
4. Finding aspects of motherhood incredibly tedious. If you didn't find watching your child go down the slide for the 100th time that day ("Mom, look at meeee!") or nagging him to put his socks in the hamper a bit of a snooze, you'd be too easily amused, and hence a moron.
5. Dipping into your son's goody bag when he isn't looking. What's a funsize Snickers between family members?
"
And sometimes it just feels like this:
HAHAHAHA! Love this! and I may just print that picture to post in my office ;)
ReplyDeleteAs someone who spent many years working with preschoolers, I can tell you that the crying stops as soon as mom is out of sight. Much of it is a show. Don't feel bad.
ReplyDeleteEvery mom can relate! And I wish I could reassure you about it lessening as they get older, but it just morphs into other forms of guilt! ;) Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteEven though we all know they're totally fine minutes after we leave, it's definitely tough knowing that in that moment your kid is freaking out because they can't bear the thought of you being gone. It's nice to be needed but... Anyhow, we all feel it. Don't worry, he won't be crying when you drop him off at university!
ReplyDelete